


Home and Free

by Aki (Akiko_Natsuko)



Series: 365 Days of Fandom [8]
Category: Tortall - Tamora Pierce
Genre: Apologies, Conversations, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Forgiveness, Gen, Healing, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-08
Updated: 2019-01-08
Packaged: 2019-10-06 22:42:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17353988
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akiko_Natsuko/pseuds/Aki
Summary: Kel had been convinced that she was coming home to her death, and now, even with the instructions to set up a new camp and to keep protecting her people, she felt lost.Adrift.





	Home and Free

      Kel still felt as though she was living in a dream as she woke the next morning, and she couldn’t help but check her wrists and ankles for restraints, but there was nothing, and she fell back against the pillow with a wince. _I’m really free._ She had been convinced that she was coming home to her death, and now, even with the instructions to set up a new camp and to keep protecting her people, she felt lost. Adrift. She had done what had needed to be done and accepted the consequences that would follow, and now… Neal’s words from the day before replaying in her mind and she nearly laughed. _Sorry, Neal, it doesn’t look like I can accept it without feeling like I don’t deserve it._ Maybe she wouldn’t say that to him, as she doubted, he would find it as amusing, and she smiled to herself as she shifted onto her back with a wince as her shoulder reminded her why she was in this tent in the first place.

   As though summoned by her movement, or the pain that was now throbbing through her shoulder, the tent flaps opened, and her amusement disappeared as Duke Baird stepped inside. In between her worries about facing Wyldon again, and how her family…how Raoul would react to her treason, she had forgotten her promise to Neal’s father, and now it surged to the fore again as he closed the tent flap and turned to look at him. He was tired, the war and the strain of dealing with injuries and refugees showed on his face, and she knew that Neal following her to Scanra, and the punishment they should have faced must have added to that.

“I’m sorry Your Grace,” she murmured, and he paused mid-step, his eyes so like Neal’s albeit darker were solemn as he studied her for a moment.

“If it makes you feel better then I will accept your apology,” Baird said finally, as he moved forwards and she bowed her head, glancing at her hands as she fiddled with the covers. “But Keladry, you kept your word to me. You kept Neal safe, and you brought him home.”

“I nearly didn’t…”

“He chose to follow you,” Baird pointed out, and she blinked, startled to find that he had reached her side while she was distracted. After days of living on the edge, no after months of being on edge, waiting for an attack, it was terrifying to feel that awareness slip, even though she knew he wasn’t a threat. “I know enough about you after all the times you’ve ended up in my care, to know that you would never have asked for his help. Which, meant that he chose his own path.” When she looked up, she was startled to see a smile on his lips, his hands gentle as he began to remove the bandages to get to the wound underneath.

“Your Grace?”

“I am proud of the man he has become.” His fingers were cool against her skin as he examined the wound, and a few seconds later she felt a cooling sensation seep across the wound as a familiar green light danced around it, finishing what Neal had started. “And I know that a large part of that is because of his friendship with you. The boy who went to the Palace to become a knight might have wanted to help those people, but he would not have known how, or he might have hesitated. The man I left in your care didn’t hesitate.” There was a stinging sensation as the magic encountered resistance, and he paused, frowning, and then there was something shifting in the wound, and she couldn’t stop herself from wincing, her usual mask shattered after the last few days, and with his words still sinking in. “One moment, there appears to be something in the wound.”

    Kel nodded and took a deep breath, fingers fisting into the covers. She could feel it, whatever it was moving, and she had to take another breath to quell the urge to fight the sensation. It helped that she could still feel the phantom pain of her mother’s fan hitting the top of her head the moment the thought bubbled up. Neal had warned her that he might have missed something, as he had already been exhausted and stretched thin by the time they’d pulled her out of Blayce’s castle, and she made a note not to tell him about this. He had been stressed enough about treating them all, the ones that he had lost haunting him in the brief moments he had allowed himself to rest, and she knew that would all be catching up with him now that they were safe, and the threat of being sent to Traitor’s hill was no longer hanging over them. She wouldn’t add to that, not when… she hissed as whatever it was rose to the surface, glancing down to watch as Baird removed a sliver of metal. _Stemnum’s blade,_ she thought dizzily watching as blood trickled down her skin before he moved to cover the wound with his hand once more.

    The rest of the healing went smoothly, and she sighed with relief as the pounding that had hounded her all the way back to Tortall finally eased. “Thank you,” she said as he pulled his hand back and straightened, before hesitating as she glanced at the hand that was still holding the sliver. “Would I be able to keep that?” The healer hesitated for a moment before holding it out, and she cautiously accepted it, studying it with narrow eyes. It was tiny, hardly worth keeping and yet she found herself reaching out and setting it on the table that had been set up next to her bed.

“May I ask why you want it?”

“To remind me of what happened, and of the man I fought.” _A man who fought and hurt people for nothing more than money._ That wasn’t the only reason. She doubted that she would forget their Scanra adventure for a long time, too much had happened, too much had been lost…and so much more had been saved. However, it could have ended differently. If she’d made the wrong decision on the road, or when they took the castle, or if Wyldon hadn’t pardoned them. That sliver, as tiny as it was, was a reminder of the knife’s edge she had walked, and the fact that the Gods had smiled on her this time.

“It doesn’t always help to remember the past,” Baird cautioned, and there was pain in his eyes, the same deep ache that she had seen the day he had asked her to try and watch over Neal, but then he smiled. “However, I think I can trust you to look to the future.” _To look to my son’s future._ He didn’t say the words, but he didn’t have to, and the implication of trust took her breath away, and she nodded to show that she understood, and he patted her on the shoulder. “I’ll ask them to bring you something to eat, and then I believe there a host of people waiting to see that you’re still in one piece.” She had to smile at that, imaging that her people had been pestering them with questions after she’d been held back when they arrived.

“Thank you, your Grace.” She knew that there were other healers in the camp, having glimpsed them working on the rescued children when Wyldon had walked her back to camp the night before and that he had probably had half a dozen other patients to see. Yet, he had come to see her, and she smiled at him, appreciating the gesture, and he patted her shoulder once more before heading for the entrance.

    He had just lifted the flap, preparing to duck through when he paused and she heard the mumble of other voices, and then the Duke turned back to look at her. “Keladry, you have a visitor,” he said, before turning to look at whoever was waiting to come in. “She’s just had healing, so make sure that she eats when the food arrives.”

“I will.” Kel froze at the voice, her palms suddenly sweaty, but she nodded to Baird as he slipped out of the tent and stepped aside to let Raoul enter. Her former Knight-Master had to duck to get through the entrance, and it gave her a precious second to try and compose her expression, forcing her hands to stillness, as she tried to sink into her Yamani calm. This was the conversation she had been dreading more than most, even if she had never admitted it to anyone, not even herself…even more, than she had dreaded facing Wyldon. Because this was the man, who had given her a chance when no one else had been willing to consider _The Girl_ as a squire. Who had taught her far more than she had ever learnt on the practice ranges, and who had seen the potential in her, that had led to all of this. The man who had made her promise to come back safe.

And she had almost thrown all that away…

“You’re looking better,” Raoul commented, sounding as easy-going as usual as he glanced around, before snagging a stool and pulling it across to sit beside her bed. As always his long legs were bent almost double, and her lips quivered in a smile, but she didn’t dare let it slip out in case it shattered the rest of her control. But she did force herself to look at him, refusing to hide from him. She had come back to face the charges that she should have been facing, she had bowed, ready to accept Wyldon’s judgement no matter how bad it was, so she could certainly face Raoul. He didn’t look angry, sloe-black eyes calm as he studied her, and that gave her the courage to find her voice.

“My Lord…”

“Raoul.”

“Sir,” Kel countered, still unable to bring herself to be that informal and there was a momentary pause as they just stared at one another. Raoul broke first, breaking into an easy smile as he leant back in his seat, the stool protesting under his weight and Kel finally let her lips quiver, curling up at the end, as the tension she had ignored for the entirety of her Scanra adventure finally dissipated with that single word. However, when Raoul finally spoke it was with a solemnity that was at odds with his expression, as he reached out to rest a hand on the covers.

“You scared me.” It was soft, sincere, and Kel’s breath caught as she met his gaze. She ducked her head, trying to imagine how it must’ve been for him to hear what she had done, to not know what had been going through her head…and yet he had still sent help after her. He hadn’t hesitated, hadn’t tried to stop her, even though he had to have known that if she were caught and punished, it would reflect poorly on him. The Conservatives would have had a field day with it, and he hadn’t hesitated. She swallowed. _I am stone._ Only she wasn’t, because he was the reason she had reached this point. The only reason she had been capable of being the one to stop Blayce and Stenmun and her voice was small, although she refused to look away.

“I’m sorry, Sir.”

“No, Kel,” Raoul shook his head. “You did what you had to do. The one thing you did do wrong.” He turned stern now, leaning in closer, and for a moment she saw a glimmer of the coldness that only ever appeared when he was furious, and she locked herself into place. “Was going alone.” Whatever she had been expecting, that wasn’t it, and she relaxed with a sigh as she offered him a wry glance, relieved to see that the coldness had already disappeared.

“I know.” And she did know, because as much as she had cursed the others for following her and dreamt of dosing them with dream rose, she knew that she wouldn’t have succeeded without them, or at least not without losing more of her people.

“Then there’s nothing more to say.” There was an odd note to his voice now, and she started when he rose abruptly, closing the gap between him and the bed in an easy step, and before she could react, he had pulled her into a tight hug. “You came back.” It was probably the most emotional he had ever been with her, and for a moment she was unsure of how to respond, but slowly she felt her arms creeping up to return the hug, and this time she was unable to keep the tremor out of her hands. It was so far from what she’d expected, all of this was, and it was only now – with his forgiveness ringing in her ears, and the tight, relieved hug, that she felt herself being grounded once more.

_This is real. I’m free. I’m home._

 


End file.
